Blandishment is recommended, while compromise is impermissible. The difference between them is that mudahanah comes from dihan (coating), which is what appears outwardly on a thing, hiding its inward. Scholars have interpreted it as living with the transgressors whilst showing outward approval with what they do without admonishment. Blandishment, on the other hand, is being gentle with the ignorant as he is being taught. Likewise with the transgressor in admonishing him so that his state does not become known to others. It is being kind in rebuking what he is doing with words and action, especially if one is trying to accustom oneself to him and become amiable and affable.
[545] The previous source,
Encouragement towards blandishment in the Qur’an and Sunnah:
❖ Allah, exalted, says, “Go, both of you, to Pharaoh, for he has exceeded all bounds. Speak to him leniently, so perhaps he may be mindful or fearful.” (Ta Ha: 43 - 44)
❖ `A’ishah, Allah be pleased with her, said, “A man asked permission to enter upon Allah’s Messenger ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Admit him. What an evil brother of his people or a son of his people.’ But when the man entered, the Prophet ﷺ spoke to him in a very polite manner. I later said, ‘Allah’s Messenger, you said what you said, yet you spoke to him in a very polite manner?’ The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Oh `A’ishah, the worst people are those whom the people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language or from their transgression.” [546] Reported by al-Bukhari (6054) and this is his wording, and Muslim (2591). This is a founding principle in exercising blandishment if it brings about benefit or removes harm. [547] Fayd al-Qadir, al-Manawi (2/454).
Quotes of the Predecessors and scholars on blandishment:
❖ Muhammad ibn al-Hanafiyyah said, “He is not truly good he who did not live with a person he had to bear living with, until Allah gives him relief.” Or he said, “... an exit.” [548] Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya in Mudarat al-Nas (20).
❖ Al-Hasan said, “The believer blandishes and does not argue, spreading Allah’s wisdom. If it is accepted, he thanks Allah, and if it is not, he thanks Allah.” [549] Akhlaq al-`Ulama’, al-Ajari (p. 58).
❖ Abu Bakr al-Turtushi said, “Blandishment is to flatter the people in a way which preserves your religion.” [550] Siraj al-Muluk, Abu Bakr al-Turtushi (11/36).
Benefits of blandishment:
1- It plants amiability and love between others.
2- It reconciles between differing hearts.
3- It is among the facilitators of calling to Allah’s way.
4- Establishing marital happiness.
5- Realising safety and security in the self.
6- Protecting the self from the wicked and evil.
Forms of blandishment: [551] Sharh Sahih al-Bukhari, Ibn Battal (7/295).
1- The ruler dealing with his subjects.
2- When fearing the disbelievers yet having inability to face them.
3- In calling the people and the ruler to Allah.
4- Blandishment with one’s parents.
5- Flattery with one’s wife to maintain sound marital relations.
Barriers to acquiring blandishment:
1- Hastiness and fury, being quick to anger and avenge the self.
2- Not having a sound understanding of reality and people’s dispositions.
3- Having poor morals and a harsh heart.
4- Arrogance and not wishing good for people.
5- Being impatient, lacking forbearance and gentleness.
6- Being isolated from the people.
7- Blandishment is necessary for those who mix with the people, not isolate themselves from them.
Means to acquiring blandishment:
1- Adorning oneself with patience, gentleness, and mercy.
2- Looking at the beneficial consequences of blandishment.
3- Understanding reality and knowing human nature.
4- Awaiting Allah’s reward in calling people to Him.
Blandishment in poetry:
Ahmad al-Khattabi said,
“As long as you live, blandish all -
You are in the abode of blandishment!
Whoever knows, blandishes; who doesn’t
Will but shortly have regret for a companion.” [552] al-Adab al-Shar`iyyah, Ibn Muflih (1/54).
Summary of Ethics
