Summary of Feqh - Section 3: Ruling of the man and woman looking at each other after asking for her hand in marriage and the ruling of having an engagement ring.

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Section 3: Ruling of the man and woman looking at each other after asking for her hand in marriage and the ruling of having an engagement ring.

1- The man looking at the woman to whom he has proposed: [7] Unfortunately, most people do not observe the guidelines that Islam has put in place to govern the relationship and level of interaction between the fiancé and fiancée. Engagement has become used today as a valid excuse to allow them to talk freely over the phone and frequent visits and going out together and even being alone in privacy together. All the while, all these are serious sins that often lead to family problems. It is prescribed for the suitor and potential fiancé to see each other in the manner prescribed in Islam to ensure attraction, and the suitor should not visit the house of his potential fiancée frequently and to ensure her mahram men are present at home during his visits. This is because engagement alone does not make them lawful for each other until after they conduct the marriage contract.

a) Ruling:

It is recommended for the suitor [8] He can delegate someone else to look at her on his behalf like asking another woman or one of her Mahram men to do so. This is permissible according to the four Madhabs. to look at the woman he wants to marry on the condition he does not look at her in a lustful and pleasuring manner. This is the view of the Shafi’i Madhab, one of the accepted views in the Maliki Madhab, one of the held views in the Hanbali Madhab, and the apparent favourable view of Ibn Taymiyyah, and the view of al-San’aanee, Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Ibn Baaz, and the Permanent Committee.
b) Limitations:

The scholars differed on the limits of looking at one’s potential fiancée. One view allows him to look at her face and hands, which is the view of the Madhabs of Maalik and al-Shafi’i and the favoured view of Ibn Hazm. The other view allows him to look at what usually appears, such as the face, hands, neck, feet, and so on, which is the view of the Hanbali Madhab and the favoured view of Ibn ‘Uthaymeen.
c) Time:

It is prescribed for the suitor to look at his potential fiancée after confirming his intent to propose to her, which is agreed on by the four Madhabs.
d) Looking at the potential fiancée without her permission:

It is permissible for the man to look at the potential fiancée without her permission or without her knowing, as stated by Shafi’i and Hanbali scholars.
e) Looking at the potential fiancée while knowing it is likely that she will reject his proposal:

It is not allowed to look at the potential fiancée if one knows that she will likely reject his proposal. This is the view of the Shafi’i and Hanbali scholars, the apparent view of the Maliki Madhab, and the favoured view of Ibn ‘Uthaymeen.
f) Looking at the potential fiancée repeatedly:

It is permissible to look at the potential fiancée repeatedly if there is a need to do so, which is the view of the majority, namely the Hanafi, Shafi’i, and Hanbali scholars. [9] The Hanbali Madhab does not stipulate that there has to be a need to do so.
g) Being alone with the potential fiancée:

It is forbidden for the suitor to be alone with his potential fiancée in a private setting because she is considered foreign to him until conducting a marriage contract. It is a matter of agreement between scholars that a man is not allowed to be alone with a non-mahram woman. The consensus has been transmitted by al-Nawawi, Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn Hajar, al-San’aanee,
h) Wisdom of allowing the suitor and potential fiancée to look at each other:

Looking at the potential fiancée ensures that there is a sort of attraction and acceptance and leads to developing feelings of affability and love.

2. Woman looking at the man who proposed to her:

The four Madhabs agree that it is permissible for the woman to look at the man proposing to her.

3. Engagement ring:

It is permissible to wear the engagement ring if it is common and culturally accepted so long as it is not intended to imitate the disbelievers and it is not associated with a forbidden belief. Nonetheless, it is recommended to avoid it, as Ibn Baaz and Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said.